blog-page

"Baby Mama Drama", Fad or Syndrome?

Mon, 04 Jan 2010 17:48:13 +0100

When the term “Baby mama drama” became popular, it was typically used by fathers. Now this term is widely used by everyone.

What is “Baby mama drama”?

I define “Baby mama drama” as a parent who takes care of their obligations to their child or children (including but not limited to child support, insurance coverage, etc.) but isn’t allowed to see their child.

“Baby mama drama”, can go both ways. It can be the father denying the mother, or the mother denying the father. Typically it’s the mother denying the father visitation. Hence “Baby mama”.

“Baby mama drama”, always steams from the separation of the parents. In most cases, one or both of the parents have moved on to other relationships. The feud begins.

There have always been single parents. The difference from then and now are the circumstances. Becoming a single parent wasn’t a decision, it was a situation. In today’s society, it’s turned into a choice.

Yes, it has been said that the women should raise the kids and tend to the household, but the household included the husband/father. The husband/father brought in the income, and supported his house and family. The husband/father wasn’t denied seeing or being with his kids.

Today, we have more and more young mothers choosing to be a single parent, and their reason’s aren’t justifiable. To choose, to deny a child both parents, should be a crime.

If you are receiving Child support, your child has health insurance coverage (paid by other parent), and your child never has a want or need, why would you keep the father from being with their seed? Why would you keep a father who wants to see their children, a child who wants to see their father, away from each other?

What the “Baby mama” is failing to realize, is that they are hurting the child more than the father. All the satisfaction gained from being vindictive can’t compare to the confusion and sadness the child feels and experiences.

First comes loving. Then comes separation. Then comes the baby and the child support payments. This is my remix of “Kissing in the tree” a song most of us sang as children. When we were innocent and trying to interpret the world through our eyes.

So, is “Baby mama drama” a fad or syndrome?

In some communities there are cliques of women who have one thing in common “Baby mama drama”. They talk about it, brag about it, exchange ideas, and boast about how they think they are getting over on the father. These so called “idea’s” are advertised to other clique members who are “mothers to be”. They infect the expecting mothers with ‘Baby mama drama”. This is the start of the next generation of “Baby mama drama.” It just keeps on spreading. It almost like some type of badge.

Can the fear of the unknown cause “Baby mama drama”? Is it even fear, or is it jealousy?

The truth of the matter is that, the problem is with the mother herself. There is an issue beneath the layers of anger and resentment that should be dealt with. Taking out your anger on someone else doesn’t solve any problem(s). What ever the issue may be. Not solving the problem, doesn’t help anyone become a better person. And when you have a child, that should be a goal, to be a better person for yourself but mainly your child.

Most importantly, the focus should be on the child. Not devious, or making someone’s life a living hell! That shouldn’t be on anyone’s agenda, its a waste of energy and time!

The cycle needs to be broken.It need to be broken amongst, cliques and the younger generation . It isn’t cool to deny any child their father. We shouldn’t get use to the idea of being single parents unless its is necessary. Becoming a single parent shouldn’t be an option, it should be a situation!

O where O where have the parents gone. O where O where can they be?

Mon, 04 Jan 2010 17:40:18 +0100

Hearing about the death of a youth, abuse of a youth, of youth killing youth is normal in todays society. Our current events are constantly flooded with stories of youths being killed by stray bullets, youths killing their peers and others around them, youths being abused and so on.

Even though these stories are normal and common to hear and read about, there not acceptable!

We have gone from “Feed the children” to “Save the children”. We aren’t just worried about the children of the world who are hungry anymore, we are worried about the safety of our children for other children. It use to be pedophiles, child abusers and abductors, but now, the peers of our children are also on this list.

There was a point in time when television was the blame for our “Bad apples”! How can television be the blame, a television set can’t give birth to a child. I don’t think television should be used as an excuse any more. When 13 and 14 year olds were kings, there wasn’t t.v. The parents taught the children how to interpret life. Better yet, the community taught their children how to interpret life.

Instead of a community raising the children, the community has to deal with the children. There are parents who don’t acknowledge their responsibilities. They release their offspring into the world for the community to deal with, like a dam collapsing and releasing a flood onto a town.

With technology contributing to almost every aspect of life, we have forgotten a very important fact. We have forgotten that, it’s the children that will run this country in the future. It’s the children that will be taking care of us in the future. Not micro chips, or medicine, but the children.

PARENTS… ITS IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY TO RAISE YOUR KIDS. IT’S NOT THE JOB OF THE GOVERNMENT, SCHOOLS OR TECHNOLOGY!!!!!!

Should the government have any say in how a parent(s) raise their child?

Yes, to a certain extent! The government should be a back-up or support system for parents. I expect the government to step in when a child’s rights are violated, or when a child safety is in question. The government should set aside funding for youth programs, homes, food, and education. But thats it. The government should have to provide assistance (various types), and the necessary materials needed to raise a productive child. When I say government, this includes State /Town officials and representatives. The government is suppose to be working for a better future, well our children are the future!!!

Current events within the last 2 weeks as of 10.7.09

R.I.P. Derrion Albert (Illinois 09) Read original story @ ABCnews.com

Teen home invasion. ( New Hampshire 09) Read original story @ Cnn.com

3 Teens inmates stab and hold guards hostage.(Indiana 09) Read original story @ Foxnews.com

Our kids are OUT OF CONTROL! Its right in our face, we can’t deny it anymore. Like i said, we see is in the news all the time, almost on a daily basis.

I think that the problem starts at home, and the solution can be found within the home. If all the homes protected, loved and nurtured their children, then thats a community. A community that will protect, love and nurture their children. It’s back to the basics. Basics, that we know works.

Is it to late? No, not yet? I would like to say flat out No. But the truth of the matter is, is that if nothing is done to stop this “Black Hole”, that the children are falling into to, then parenting will be redefined!!! The Center of Disease Control says that 1/3rd. of females get pregnant before the age of 20. Guttmacher Institute reported that in 2006 almost 750,000 females between the ages of 15-20 became pregnant. In 2007 the rate went up according to the CDC.

Kids are raising kids. Not only does that statement sound wrong, but its is wrong.

High School and Day Care all in one building

With more teen becoming parents, there should be a parenting class in school. The fact is that pre-teens and teen are having sex. Just like there are drug prevention classes and sex education classes, there should be parenting classes. We can only handle one problem at a time, and until the broken down homes and families are repaired, we should stop the cycle with the developing homes and families. Give them the help and tools they need.

——–SIDE BAR—— I don’t agree with pre-teen and teen sex at all.. There should be more laws against it in every state!!!!———

Isn't this common knowledge?!

Can you be a parent and a friend? Some say you can and some say you can’t. As far a I’m concerned, you should be a parent first!!!! There is no need to be afraid of your kids.

Some states have “Parental Accountability” laws. I think all states should have these laws. Just as we are responsible for our property and actions, so should be responsible for our children. There will always be “Bad Apples”, and those are excusable situations that the government should step in, but for the other delinquents, the parent should be held responsible along with their children. It has to stop somewhere.

How can you help?

There are many Charity organization that help kids. There are organization that support finding cures to fight diseases that effect children, fighting against child abuse, support of foster children and orphans, school programs and so on. Give a donation,even a little bit can help.

Support your local school programs and community after school programs. If there aren’t any programs in your area, get some parents together and try to start one. Contact your mayor or state officials and demand one.

I’m not a hypocrite, and therefore I practice what I preach. I donate to UNICEF a couple of times a year. I have just submitted my application to be a Child Advocate for the State of Connecticut, and I am in the process of starting a non-profit charity group to support children in need.

SHOUT OUT TO ALL THE CARING PARENTS IN THE WORLD AND TO ALL THE CHILD ADVOCATES.

Happy homes = Happy children

Its all about building a better future….

The new Era of indidelity

Mon, 04 Jan 2010 17:26:30 +0100

Before the Post office, and the telephone , being unfaithful consisted of a sexual act performed with someone other than your “spouse”. Affairs were physical and local, sometimes in the same house. Mostly likely the person being cheated on knew the “other person” Long distance relationships were few and not too common due to communication limits.

QUICK HISTORY LESSON:

I did some research and to my surprise the first recorded legal divorce was in 1643. The divorce was granted to Anne Clarke because her husband abandonded her for his girlfriend, whom he had 2 children with. Mr. Denis Clarek refused to go home to his wife to raise and support his family which consisted of two children also. Anne Clarke was granted the divorce only because Denis refused to go home. I believe that if he would have returned home, there would not have been a divorce. Read original story @ History.com

Anne Clarke’s case is and example of what I call “Cut and dry infedility”. There is nothing to find out, or try to prove. No investigating to be done. (Ladies you know what I’m talking about)

Now less fast forward to present day. We don’t need a horse and a saddle to send someone a message anymore. There are so many options to get a message to someone. Post office is considered “old school”, faxing is unnecessary, and even speaking with the person is secondary.

The ability to communicate with one another has lead to the “Network sites” era. Myspace and Facebook are just two of the many. Not only can we keep in contact with our friends and family, we also can contact people from our past. People that we have lead some type of relationship with. The door is also open to new people, possibly for the future relations, or just for a “memory” hint hint.

If you or your “spouse” are just exchanging emails or messages back and forth to someone other than each other, and messages that are sexually explicit (fantasy or memory), is that considered being unfaithful?

—-Messages include pictures, recordings, all of it!.—–

Before you answer this question, remember, just messages,and no physical contact. Think of some of the past loves or flings you have had, and what you would like to do if you had the chance. Don’t just answer this question based on you being the person cheated on. What would be your excuse if you got caught? Would the first words out your mouth be? ”I never meet with them, I know them from back in the day – way before your time.”

A couple of weeks ago I took a poll on Twitter. I asked if sexual explicit emails to someone else other than your spouse was considered and unfaithful act? Aside from the guys you asked about a possible “episode”, the majority of the responses were, yes its an unfaithful act.

So, can email messages and text messages be used as evidence and reasoning for a divorce? Is it really about Unfaithfulness, or about feeling disrespected and hurt? If its emotional, shouldn’t the solution be with a counselor, not with the court?

—SOMETHING ABOUT ME—

I’m the type of person who likes to “dead” things before they start or even point in the Left direction. (lol had to laugh at that one.) Therefore, a sexually explicit message would ring some bells. To me, it’s a warning sign. I have the option to put it on “front street”, ignore it, or leave! I believe in chances, so I would put in on “front street”. ( This blog is called Blastoff101 for a reason!) After “front street”, its “test me if you want too!” There is nothing else after that. Anything you do consistently is a part of who your are, and I can’t change that.

FYI, or just in case you forgot, You, yes you, can not change a person, they have to want to change for themselves. You can only help!

So, think about it, what will you lay on the line for a text message?

What type of messages have you already sent?